Archive for the 'Contemplative' Category

17
May
10

New Ideas

So I’ve started getting quite a few friends on Facebook, and I mean that’s all going really well and all but I think I need to branch out a bit and find a way for us to all hang out a bit more online.
That’s the problem with having so many friends online – day to day I feel so desperately lonely. I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t have anyone I can trust.
Then it hits 10pm and there they are, USA, Canada, England, Scotland, and Wales – they are all there. These new friends bring a culture to our conversations that I find fucking awesome. But by 2am I am too tired and I’m off to bed.
Only to wake to a new day, a new day of nothing…

An online friend invited me to play Poker at 2am tomorrow morning, so I am going to learn how to play, maybe this will even be something that I am good at! Hopefully the stimulation this game provides is enough to keep me awake.

I got some sweet poker tips online, the help my ‘game.’

Now, I’m going to try my hand at this whole online poker thing. I am sure I will cane it, I am very strategic after all!

10
May
10

A Slight Dilemma…

So I have a bit of a problem in the world of the interwebs…
You see, I made this friend …. for argument’s sake let’s call her H.
Now H and I don’t really talk much, in fact, we are merely Facebook friends that added each other.

Enter new friend, B who is actually a friend of H and added me out of curiosity of my association with H.
Do I tell B that H and I are not really friends?

Trouble is, he seems like a top lad, and I think we get along really well, but I don’t want him to think I am like a castaway or anything…
What to do?

06
May
10

Frustration

I can tell you, there’s no aphrodisiac like loneliness. On the odd occasion, when I step outside the house, I come across ladies. And it doesn’t take much to get me salivating — just legs are probably enough. I mean, let’s put it this way. Say there’s me, and then there’s this other guy, and he’s got a girlfriend, and he’s at least *three times* more attractive than me. Now conventional reasoning would suggest that I may not be attractive enough to get a girlfriend at all, but this other guy can get a gf because he’s 3x my attractiveness.
But if this guy has *one* girlfriend, and I have *one third* of his attractiveness, logically I should at least be getting *one third* of a girlfriend right now. And I’d be quite happy with that. Maybe me and two other guys of similar attractiveness could share one girl and *collectively*, we’d be good enough to make up one proper boyfriend. So.. Where the hell is my 1/3 lady friend? Unfortunately, society doesn’t work this way. The dividing of girlfriends into smaller parts is generally frowned upon…. so I guess I’m going to have to “man up” and “catch a whole one”…. shit.

26
Apr
10

Why So Serious?

The goth party came and went.
I don’t really know what to say. It was another failure. You know, failure doesn’t even come CLOSE.
I dunno about these Goths. I guess they are more than sad, there is something wrong with them. I guess that’s why, the night ended the .. uh unique… way that it did.
I tried though, I really did.
I used my lingo, showed off my dance moves, I got deep, I broke conversations with a sneaky joke, but to no avail.

Simon Brown. Lone Ranger. Nomad.

19
Apr
10

The Day That Was…

Okay, so I’m here to let you know that the Speed Dating didn’t really work out.
I don’t really know why. I mean I tried. I followed all the advice, did all the research, and for some reason no one really wanted a bar of me at all.

Ultimately it end, with the one girl I really thought it was working out well with, well she hit me. She hit me hard.
I am not exactly sure what I did to offend her so much but I have this pulsating black eye now, and while initially I thought that would make me look tough, I am just embarrassed.
I think maybe she was foreign or something, and in their culture my smooth moves were way to confronting?
Yeah, there was definitely something wrong with her. I guess I’m lucky I got out of it with only a black eye!
Speed Dating is for the desperate, and I am most certainly not desperate.

I’ve been looking online by writing this, and I have made a decision. Emos, metalheads, goths – you know those people that wear black all the time and cry, and bang their heads a lot and stuff? That could be me! I could be one of those…

So I have been googling Goths an it really doesn’t look like it’s very hard to be one. Just wear black. Say scary things. Listen to scary music.

I think this is where I really belong. I can be one of these people. I mean all they do is sit around and eat, talk scary stuff and jump up and down to music. This is good because I am an awful dancer. Like god awful dancer. I guess that is another story though..

15
Apr
10

Before The War Began

So this is just a really quick vid Alistair threw together before the Speed Dating the other day.
I know, I know, I haven’t really gone through it all yet on my blog.
Suffice to say, I guess it didn’t really go to plan.
I’m not going to lie. I am a catastrophic failure.
I do my research. I listen to what people tell me to do. I act in a way that is meant to be ‘socially acceptable,’ and nothing.
Anyway, here is a vid, I hope this at least gets me some more viewers.

14
Apr
10

You lied to me

Time: 11pm
Mood: Exhausted, tired, weak
Okay, I’m not quite ready to delve in the after math of what happened at the Speed Dating.
I’m still recovering okay.
God I hate this, I hate this so much.

Anyway all I want to say, is that despite what you may believe (I know I did), you cannot believe everything you hear on the Internet. Here are Simon Brown’s tips for Speed Dating.

The following pickup lines do not work:

I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true

Are your legs tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.
You – “Did it hurt”. The other person will naturally say “Did what hurt?”, You – “When you fell from heaven.”
Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
You say “I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips.” She says, “Bet’s on.”

Okay there were a lot.
But they were all genius….or so I thought.