Archive Page 2

19
Apr
10

The Day That Was…

Okay, so I’m here to let you know that the Speed Dating didn’t really work out.
I don’t really know why. I mean I tried. I followed all the advice, did all the research, and for some reason no one really wanted a bar of me at all.

Ultimately it end, with the one girl I really thought it was working out well with, well she hit me. She hit me hard.
I am not exactly sure what I did to offend her so much but I have this pulsating black eye now, and while initially I thought that would make me look tough, I am just embarrassed.
I think maybe she was foreign or something, and in their culture my smooth moves were way to confronting?
Yeah, there was definitely something wrong with her. I guess I’m lucky I got out of it with only a black eye!
Speed Dating is for the desperate, and I am most certainly not desperate.

I’ve been looking online by writing this, and I have made a decision. Emos, metalheads, goths – you know those people that wear black all the time and cry, and bang their heads a lot and stuff? That could be me! I could be one of those…

So I have been googling Goths an it really doesn’t look like it’s very hard to be one. Just wear black. Say scary things. Listen to scary music.

I think this is where I really belong. I can be one of these people. I mean all they do is sit around and eat, talk scary stuff and jump up and down to music. This is good because I am an awful dancer. Like god awful dancer. I guess that is another story though..

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15
Apr
10

Before The War Began

So this is just a really quick vid Alistair threw together before the Speed Dating the other day.
I know, I know, I haven’t really gone through it all yet on my blog.
Suffice to say, I guess it didn’t really go to plan.
I’m not going to lie. I am a catastrophic failure.
I do my research. I listen to what people tell me to do. I act in a way that is meant to be ‘socially acceptable,’ and nothing.
Anyway, here is a vid, I hope this at least gets me some more viewers.

14
Apr
10

You lied to me

Time: 11pm
Mood: Exhausted, tired, weak
Okay, I’m not quite ready to delve in the after math of what happened at the Speed Dating.
I’m still recovering okay.
God I hate this, I hate this so much.

Anyway all I want to say, is that despite what you may believe (I know I did), you cannot believe everything you hear on the Internet. Here are Simon Brown’s tips for Speed Dating.

The following pickup lines do not work:

I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true

Are your legs tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.
You – “Did it hurt”. The other person will naturally say “Did what hurt?”, You – “When you fell from heaven.”
Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
You say “I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips.” She says, “Bet’s on.”

Okay there were a lot.
But they were all genius….or so I thought.

13
Apr
10

Eureka!

AHAH!
I have had the most brilliant idea.
I was talking to my cousin Alistair ( great kid, pity is only 12) about my blog and facebook, and my mission to meet new people, and he told me that most blogs have videos on them. THAT’S how they get people to watch them! By posting videos.
So I have enlisted Alistair to come along with me to the Speed Dating and yeah, I will TOTALLY have a video of my success with the l a d i e s.

Awesome.

Then I can finally get some people reading my killer blog.

11
Apr
10

Preparing for Battle

So today is the day. I found a Speed Dating luncheon at a local cafe in the city, so this is where I am really going to and have a crack at meeting some new people.
I was looking online for tips and tricks, and while in my meandering, I came across a few major points of reference to try and get a proper conversations going….

Pay Attention to Your Appearance (goes without saying…)
Watch Your Body Language (smiles can make or break a date)
Don’t Be a Whiner (I am really a very positive person..)

Popular Questions to Prepare For:
* What are you most proud of in your life?
* Is religion important to you?
* What do you do for fun?
* Why did your last relationship end (Break-Up)?
* Do you want to get or have you ever been married?
* Do you want or do you have any children?
* If we got into an argument, how would we settle it?
* Where do you see yourself in five years?
* What do you do for work?
* Is sexual compatibility important to you?
* What do you look for in a (boy/girl)friend/spouse?

Some of these seem pretty daunting.
I did a lot of research and have decided that I can steer around a few answers that might make me look like a loser.
Loser Answer : Yeah I live by myself.
Winner Answer: I choose to live a really solitary life.

Loser Answer: Oh no, I have never had a girlfriend.
Winner Answer: When I meet the right girl, I’ll know. And that will be it for me.

Loser Answer: I have never had sex before.
Winner Answer: Intimacy is the most important thing to me.

I sound like a woman, I swear. But from what I’ve read, chicks dig that SNAG shit. I’m in for sure.

Today from 11:00am-1:00pm I will be speed dating a lucky few at Caffiene at Vault Cafe on Swanston St, Melbourne.

If any of my female readers are available, I’d love to chat. Come down for a coffee, I am pretty sure it is free to sign up.

11
Apr
10

Now There’s A Thought…

I don’t really know when it happened, and I am screwed if I can tell anyone why, but somewhere along the lines, I seem to have lost myself. I need to meet new people, I need to find new ways to get myself out there.

So I am online, as ever, and I come across the ever cliched ‘Speed Dating.’ Now, I know how this may sound, a young guy, massive creep, heading on out to find a desperately lovely woman in which that can both bask in a simple routine, in a simple life. (In reality, that actually doesn’t sound too bad.)
But that’s not what this is about. I just want to meet new people, preferable a lady :), and I want to meet people, that they themselves, are looking to make new friends.
That’s all I’m after. Friendship.

So Speed Dating – it’s a lot more romantic than it sounds, but there are a LOT of rules. A relatively new concept, it actually originated in 1998 at a Beverly Hills cafe, and since then I guess, it has really taken off. There is Online Speed Dating, Cafe’s, Nightclubs, International, Chat, Dinner and even Speed Dating Balls. Crazy.

So I guess it is now up to me to find a local event that is airing this kinda thing, and just, go.
That’s it. Just get on out there.

06
Apr
10

The WordPress ‘Blog.’

So here I am, newly introduced to this blogosphere that has set the world by storm. I guess it’s just a bit easier to begin by introducing myself a little bit.
My name is Simon Brown, I am a 21 year old student living here in Melbourne. I currently live in Carlton, in a sharehouse. Share, however is a bit of an overstatement. Where I live we don’t share anything, food, bills, conversations, glances – if I saw one of my housemates walking down the street, I honestly couldn’t tell you.

From what I gather, there is three of them, only for the sheer fact that the rent is split four ways. That’s about as far as my knowledge of them goes.

Anyway, I was just online talking to a few people in a forum, about ways to make friends and meet new people and they suggested I start a blog. From what I gather – a blog ;

usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events,

is kinda like an online diary. Seems a pretty girly thing to start up really, so I checked out a few more blogs, and decided that they actually have the potential to be awesome.

Man Blog
Wrestling
Zombies

Examples of what’s to come, I think.